Good Grief

O God, whose days are without end, and whose mercies cannot be numbered: Make us, we beseech thee, deeply sensible of the shortness and uncertainty of human life.

Book of Common Prayer, page 599

At the beginning of Lent, two funerals were held at St John’s within a week. The first was of a long-standing friend of the parish who died suddenly, while the second was of our Rector’s Warden, who departed this life peacefully after a lengthy illness.

The rites reflected both these circumstances and the needs of the mourners. One was a simple burial service, followed by a reception that lasted well into the evening, while the other was a Requiem Mass with choir, for which the church was full. The person who planned the first service and social gathering remarked to me that they accomplished what they were meant to do. His insight, wise and succinct, struck me. To a world that attempts to deny the existence of death, even to the extent of avoiding uttering the word itself by using euphemisms such as “passed away”, and in some cases by creating highly personalized secular “events”, the Church shows a more perfect way.

Although each person is unique, and each death affects us differently, suffering and grief are universal aspects of the human condition. In the immediate raw state of loss, comfort may be found within the embrace of a community of faith, and in turning to familiar rituals whose readings and music are chosen with the person we have lost in mind. With time, as we gather to worship, we are sustained by the support of our fellow Christians and the hope of the resurrection of the dead. Thanks be to our loving and merciful God.